How Your Brain, Past, and Identity Intersect
Addiction is often misunderstood as a lack of willpower or discipline. In reality, it is a complex interplay between early life experiences, brain function, and emotional coping strategies. Whether you're struggling with gambling, pornography, or addictive coping around illness, trauma, or neurodivergence, this article will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface.
Gambling Addiction in Men and Women: Understanding the Emotional and Brain-Based Triggers
What is Gambling Addiction?
Gambling addiction, also known as compulsive gambling or gambling disorder, is a behavioural addiction where a person is unable to resist the urge to gamble, despite negative consequences. It can take many forms, sports betting, casino games, online slots, or scratch cards—and can create serious financial, emotional, and relational harm.
Gambling affects both men and women, but research shows gendered differences in patterns and motivations. Men are more likely to engage in competitive forms of gambling, whereas women often gamble to escape emotional distress, particularly with slot machines or mobile games (BACP, 2023).
According to Gamble Aware (2022), approximately 2.2 million adults in Great Britain are experiencing gambling harm. Women represent the fastest-growing group seeking help. Gambling becomes a coping strategy, providing temporary relief from feelings of emptiness, anxiety, or trauma.
What Happens in the Brain?
When gambling, the brain releases dopamine, a chemical involved in the brain’s reward system. Over time, the anticipation of winning, not the win itself, fuels the cycle. This creates powerful psychological reinforcement that can override logic and control (Brewer, 2021).
How I Can Help
If you're caught in a pattern of gambling you can’t stop, you are not alone. I help you explore the emotional drivers and unresolved pain behind your behaviours using integrative therapy, EMDR, and trauma-informed approaches.
Porn Addiction: What It Really Means and How It Starts
What is Porn Addiction?
Porn addiction involves compulsive viewing of pornography to the extent that it negatively impacts emotional, relational, or daily functioning. While not officially classified in every diagnostic manual, many people experience symptoms of addiction: an inability to stop despite consequences, shame, secrecy, and emotional numbing.
Porn is often used to self-soothe, escape, or regulate emotions. It can be rooted in emotional neglect, difficulty with intimacy, or attachment trauma. For some, porn becomes a predictable and private coping mechanism when real connection feels unsafe or overwhelming.
How the Brain is Affected
Research shows that frequent porn use activates dopamine pathways in the brain. Over time, the brain becomes desensitised, requiring more intense or novel content to achieve the same effect. This can lead to compulsive use and real-life intimacy difficulties (Hilton, 2013).
Studies from the Journal of Behavioural Addictions estimate that 5–8% of adults may experience compulsive porn use. The shame around this issue prevents many from seeking help.
How I Can Help
I offer a confidential, non-judgemental space where you can safely explore what’s underneath compulsive porn use. Together, we work to reduce shame, strengthen emotional regulation, and reconnect with real intimacy in a safe and supported way.
Addiction and Chronic Illness: The Fight to Feel in Control
What’s the Connection Between Illness and Addiction?
Living with chronic illness or disability can create ongoing emotional strain, grief, frustration, isolation, and identity loss. Some people turn to substances or behaviours (like gambling, food, or control rituals) to manage overwhelming feelings. Addiction may serve as a way to reclaim power when the body feels unreliable or limiting.
The World Health Organization (2021) reports that 1 in 3 adults live with a chronic condition. These individuals are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and trauma symptoms (Mental Health Foundation, 2022). For many, the emotional toll of illness is invisible and untreated.
What Happens in the Brain and Body?
The nervous system may become hypervigilant, stuck in a fight-or-flight response. The brain can interpret bodily symptoms as threats, triggering panic or shutdown. This mind-body feedback loop can make it hard to separate physical illness from emotional pain.
How I Can Help
In therapy, we address both your emotional and physical reality. I support clients in navigating grief, trauma, and identity shifts associated with long-term illness. You’ll be met with empathy, not dismissal, and guided toward a more integrated, empowered self.
Childhood Trauma and Addiction: When Survival Becomes a Pattern
What is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma includes experiences such as neglect, emotional abuse, parental loss, witnessing violence, or unstable caregiving. These events leave a lasting imprint on brain development and emotional functioning.
According to the CDC-Kaiser ACE study (1998), 67% of people have experienced at least one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE), and 1 in 6 have had four or more. These early wounds are strongly linked to addiction, chronic illness, and mental health challenges in adulthood.
Neuroscience and the Developing Brain
Trauma affects key areas of the brain: the amygdala (threat detection), the hippocampus (memory), and the prefrontal cortex (emotion regulation). Childhood trauma disrupts these systems, leaving adults with heightened stress responses and difficulty self-soothing (Perry & Szalavitz, 2017).
How I Can Help
Through integrative therapy and EMDR, I help you safely explore how your past still lives in your present. We work with compassion to rebuild safety, heal attachment wounds, and develop new ways of relating to yourself and others.
ADHD, Autism and Addiction: Making Sense of the Overlap
Why Are Neurodivergent People at Risk for Addiction?
People with ADHD and autism often experience the world more intensely. They may face challenges with emotional regulation, sensory overwhelm, impulsivity, or social rejection. Addiction can become a way to regulate overstimulation, boredom, or anxiety.
For ADHD, addiction often stems from dopamine-seeking and difficulty with impulse control. For autistic individuals, repetitive behaviours, including gambling or pornography, may serve as predictable, controllable routines.
Studies show that 23% of people with substance use issues also meet criteria for ADHD (Wilens et al., 2011). Many autistic adults report using addictive behaviours to navigate emotional or sensory overload.
The Brain Perspective
ADHD and autism both involve differences in executive functioning and nervous system regulation. The brain can become stuck in high-alert states, and individuals may turn to external sources for relief or stimulation.
How I Can Help
I provide neurodivergent-affirming therapy that understands your wiring. Together, we can explore your experiences without shame and build safer, more sustainable coping strategies. I meet you with deep respect for how hard you’ve had to work just to function.
How I Can Help
As an accredited BACP psychotherapist, EMDR practitioner, and clinical supervisor with vast experience, I work comprehensively to meet you where you are. My practice is:
- Trauma-informed: acknowledging how past pain shapes present choices
- Neuroscience-aware: integrating what we now know about the brain’s adaptability
- Neurodivergent-affirming: tailoring approaches for ADHD, autism, and sensory needs
- Addiction-sensitive: working beyond the behaviour to uncover the unmet need
Together, we explore not just why you're stuck, but how to move forward, with compassion, strategy, and healing.
If this resonates with you, I offer a safe, confidential space to start your journey. Reach out for a free initial chat today.