By Melisa Adams, BACP-Registered Psychotherapist | Design Your Mind Psychotherapy (UK)
If you've started therapy and are wondering whether it’s actually helping, you're not alone. Therapy isn’t always dramatic or linear. Sometimes, the biggest shifts happen quietly. But there are clear signs that you're making progress, even if you don’t feel 'fixed' yet.
This article explores how to tell if therapy is working, how long therapy takes, and what progress in therapy might actually look like. Whether you’re attending trauma-informed therapy, CBT, EMDR, or talking therapy in the UK, these signs can help you reflect on your journey.
Why It’s Normal to Question Therapy
Most people expect therapy to feel like a breakthrough every week. But often, it's more like unravelling a knot — slow, layered, and sometimes uncomfortable.
You might be asking:
• Am I getting better?
• Is my therapist helping?
• Should I feel different by now?
These are all valid questions. Therapy is an investment — emotionally and financially — and you deserve to know whether it’s working.
You Are More Aware of Your Thoughts and Patterns
Self-awareness is often the first sign of change. You may catch yourself thinking, 'Oh, I always react this way when I feel rejected,' or 'This argument feels like a replay of something from childhood.'
You Feel Safe Enough to Be Honest
Progress in therapy is not about being agreeable. It’s about being real. If you’ve stopped trying to 'perform' or say what you think your therapist wants to hear, that’s a powerful indicator of trust and growth.
You Are Emotionally Triggered and Can Talk About It
Becoming emotional or triggered in therapy can feel uncomfortable, but it often means you're addressing something meaningful. If you’re able to stay with those feelings and explore them, you’re doing deep, important work.
Your Outside Relationships Are Changing
As your internal world shifts, you may start noticing changes in your relationships. You might:
• Set healthier boundaries
• Recognise red flags more clearly
• Feel less responsible for other people’s emotions
This can feel disruptive at first, but it’s often a sign of emotional growth.
You Are Coping Better in Difficult Moments
You may still feel overwhelmed at times, but you recover faster or feel more equipped to manage it. You might pause before reacting, use breathing techniques, or reflect instead of spiralling. These subtle changes show that therapy is helping build emotional regulation.
You Are Questioning Old Beliefs
If you’re starting to think things like, 'Maybe I’m not broken,' or 'I don’t need to earn love,' then deeper shifts are happening. Challenging old belief systems is one of the clearest signs that therapy is working.
You Have Stopped Expecting Every Session to Feel Good
In the beginning, many people expect therapy to feel instantly relieving. But over time, you begin to trust that even tough sessions are moving you forward. You’re no longer chasing a quick fix — you’re building long-term emotional resilience.
How Long Should Therapy Take to Work?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people feel lighter after just a few sessions. Others, especially those with complex trauma or longstanding difficulties, may need months or even years of consistent work.
In the UK, many therapy services offer 6 to 12 sessions. This can be helpful for short-term goals. But meaningful, sustainable healing often takes longer — and that's okay.
When to Talk to Your Therapist About Progress
If you're unsure about how therapy is going, bring it into the room. A skilled therapist will welcome that discussion.
Questions to ask:
• What kind of progress have you noticed in me?
• Are there things I could be doing differently?
• Can we review what we’ve covered and what’s next?
Therapy should always feel like a collaboration, not a mystery.
Final Thoughts
Therapy progress doesn’t always look like major breakthroughs. Sometimes, it’s crying for the first time in years. Setting a boundary that terrifies you. Sitting with something hard instead of pushing it away.
If you’re wondering whether therapy is working for you, or you’re looking for a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I offer a free 15-minute consultation.
Call or text 07944 801920 to get started. Therapy might be the beginning of lasting change.